9.7.14

Sem 2 starts, current status : trying hard to be hardworking :p
Bad result D:

Friends in college, somehow feel more family-like than secondary sch haha.
Not sure if it is a good or bad news
Probably good, may be.

Among all classmate, there's few which is really nice .
Felt so blessed having u guys in my life
Although I do not believe much in forever anymore
I really wish, we could stay together forever.

I'm not sure what love is
But if it is
Feeling happy when you're with me
Looking forward the time with you
Feel safe if you're by my side whenever what happened.

Then may be, there's someone that I held such feeling now.

But, I'm afraid of losing, so I'll just stay on the spot.
And wait for this feeling to fade .

For now, just study hard :)

29.5.14

Once, we were foolish, we cry over small little things 

We believe in the impossible 

We blame the others for our faulty 

We smile over everything 

Time pass, we grow, we change. 

Is good to record down ur life

When you read back, you leave a smile, realize how stupid we were back then

All the trauma we thought we couldn't bare over, 

We overcame. 

Promises, target that we set last time

Forgotten in the past. 

Belief, became nothing but merely a joke

Nothing will be the same anymore

The dream we had, is so beautiful that I doesn't want to wake from it

But still, it's just a dream

Regardless how u feel, a dream is a dream 

When the dream ended, u have to move on. 

It might be hard, 

There'll be times that we wanted to collapse back into the dream

But, someday, we will be looking back, and realize our stupidity now. 

And that day, we will leave a smile again. 

11.5.2014

Like daughter like mum ? 

Today is Mother's Day, but my mum is not by ourside 

Guess why? 

Because she accidentally brought an air ticker under her name when she's helping her friend to buy

Aish. And then, it can't be refund 

So instead of wasting it, mum went for it

Ahh, 1 week 

Me

The one that couldn't let it go is just me.
Every perception of me about you is just my fantasy.

It's about time to end my foolishness.
It's time to wake up, after discovering so much.

Everything has ended.
Everything will be okay.

It will just be a memory to be forgotten.
Smile and live on :)

Calm

My college holiday started few days ago :)
Did nothing except for lazying the whole day haha. Lol

Feel more stable and calm now
Just sometime, when I miss you, I will wonder what are you doing.

As I promised both of us before,
until the day I completely put down you, I will only add back you as friend in FB
I wonder, how long will it be ?

Sometimes, I just feel silly and pathetic
After our broke up, you move on so quickly
And me , still staying on the same spot hoping for so called miracle happens.
I wonder, what makes me attached to you so much? Hmm, I don't know.

For the moment, I had rejected a few confession
Just feeling like, I'm not ready for the next yet, I don't want to be so irresponsible in my relationship, it is unfair for both side.
Also, for the moment, you are the only one I had such feeling to.

Just like one of my pal said,
One day, I will eventually let go of it and realize how silly and stupid I'm now

For now, I have to decide what I'm going to choose next
This Friday, I'm going to experience German school life
Then, I will have to decide to continue what I'm doing now or start a new life in Germany
No matter which path I choose, as long as I'm happy will do :)

I'm fine now, how about you ?
Do you miss me, like I miss you ;) ?

I did not forget

I guess you won't be seeing this anymore.

That's why I dare to type out my feeling now.

All those pretty words I said to you, is to make sure that you can put me down.

I always knew, you are suffering in silence when I eye contact with you,

your eyes looks so sad, that I don't even know how to consult you.

so I just smile as much as possible, since when I smiled, I laughed, you will follow as well.

I can just assume that your life now is much better than with me.

Since that, you have someone that can take care of you. 

I'm always feeling sorry that I couldn't give you what you want, " Future"

No doubt, everyone wants a relationship where that can feel their future.

While be with me, you can't share anything with me.

So if you remember, our last call, I cried out loud keep repeating sorry

Yea, I mean it, I really feel so sorry towards you.. even now

I know, it is nearly impossible to forget someone that is so meaningful to you

That's why I never plan to forget you before

I also knew, that you won't forget me. Well, I don't know how to put in the words, is just my feeling, my believes.

I always believes you.

For now, I stopped finding you

Because I knew, how much suffer you gain when you face me, just like when I face you.

Really, is enough. 

I don't want to cause more pain on you anymore

I don't mind just disappear if you feel happy with it.

They said, Libra is willing to make all the changes and take all the pain and scarifies.

Yea, I'm.

I don't need you to know, doesn't mean I don't feel so.

What is the point of letting you know? Claim your credits ?

Nah, that's not what I want, all I want is just your smile

As long as you smiled, every pain will just wore off.

I know, you are still hiding everything by yourself, baring everything by yourself

I wish that you will know, 

I'm always here, somewhere that you couldn't see, couldn't know,

sharing your happiness, sadness and pain

Although I couldn't reassured by you, but I know

you will always love me, just like I will always love you.

May god bless you, Elias.

价值

自以为是的认定这个世界，曾以为你不会离开我，
这一切，都是我自以为是，我情我愿的想法

每个人的定义不一样，每个人的想法也不一样
有些东西，我想想就好，不说出来也是一种好
随着时间流逝，也许我也会慢慢忘掉

现在，我只在等待，
等的是什么，我不想说
因为我不知道，结局是否和我想象的一样

我还有剩多少时间？
只希望，接下来的日子，活得自在就好
但愿，我将会平平静静的过着、离去，
不再有下世，不再留恋世间

我不知道，活着的价值，
只知道，离开了就没有价值

希望，我的愿望成真。