Life

My sick haven't fully recover yet :( 

But at least I doesn't looks so pale anymore.

Someone that knew about me and nana suggest me to let him be my new bf.

But I rejected.

Somehow, I still waiting for my nana.

What I wishing is, after few years, I might go and fulfil our promises all alone by myself,

by that time, I will be in his country for long period,

If he is still single and love me, we might able to get together again.

But still, this is just what I wish. Who knows, things always doesn't works as planned. 

Anyway, my cough recently has gotten serious,

It makes me unable to not worry that it might link to disease like cancer, 

I wonder, if I only have a few months of lifetime, 

Will you come back to me and accompany me till I die ? 

" Patient needs to be in happy condition. " This excuse I will use to ask you I guess ? haha

How long will I take to let go this relationship ? I don't know.

I feel so... complicated. I want to let go as I want you to have a bright new happy life, and as well as I can live on but not continue hesitate in the past which makes me depress now.

But, if I let go, it means that, I have left no feelings towards you anymore.

There will not be any love, any hate, any missing and wanted to depends on you.

Which is.. sounds too cruel for me.. 

I wonder, how's your life now.

Are you the same as me? Missing you so badly, or had you let go ?

If time reverse back, I will still choose to be with you. :)

Thank you for take caring me for a year.