Gone

Everything is different now.
I went college, and it is a busy life,
But the worst is, that my boyfriend and I broke up.

I don't know whether he will be watching my blog or whatever anymore,
but I just want to express my feeling now. Here is the best place,
no one knows me here, and I wont know who has seen it.

To be honest, it is really heartbreaking.
The day we broke, I cry for a whole day.
Although I try to look fine infront him, and I not sure that he knows about it or not, but I'm extremely pain in the heart.
Even now, I still experiencing the same pain.
What I wish is, he was just joking or so so.

I had insomnia now, and my mother said I looks ill.
My face looks pale, and I don't feel like eating.

The fact is, I still love you.
I really wanted to be with you together, but I don't want to ruin your new life.
All I do now is, lying to myself.

I try to convince myself that I am fine, but actually, what I do is lying to myself.
The more relieve is, your whatsapp is malfunctioning.
At least, I can still message u like before to cheat myself, I feel so stupid, yet I have no other idea or choices.

Am I wrong continue waiting you like now?
I don't know, I just know that everything I see now, remind me of you.
Everything I heard, remind me of you.
I haven't tell family about us, they still happily asking me why u haven't visit me.
I don't know when should I tell them, because I'm hoping that we will be back together.

Silly girl like me, how I wish I will lost my memory.
May accident or incident occurs in me, that will lead me to a pain that wakes me.
May accident or incident occurs in me, that makes me lost of every memory.
May sick or disease I having now can kill me, so that I can free from this sadness.

Feeling lost, miserable. How are you then ?